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The Science Says So

Written for an age-appropriate reader. Under 14, please leave this page.

Orgasms on Penises 

I learned recently about women who  have orgasms on penises. They come in at 20 percent.

The other 90 percent only orgasm by outside vaginal stimulation and even then they have to get lucky.

Oddly, men's penises in vaginas pop like popcorn on a hot skittle. We've all seen the movies.  And 100 percent of women  know this, movies or no movies.

It could be a wild guess that the 20 percent of women who do orgasm on dicks wind up showing off in the porn industry.

Somehow knowing the numbers behind this activity changes the whole sexual dynamic of the world in my mind.

This new science demands I wrap my head around this. I have a perfectly good dick and it's only good for 20 percent of my random fucks (these are theoretical fucks).

I bet it works like this. 80 percent don't orgasm on a dick, 20 percent do orgasm on a dick.  But that 20 percent only orgasm 20 percent of the time they spend on a dick. That would occur during ovulation.  And be totally hit and miss.

Meanwhile, my dick says go just about as many times as it gets asked to go, by me, or others.

What does this say about Women? Oh dear me. It overwhelms me with sadness, to know the terrible odds my sexual partners have played against during all my demands for satisfaction of a sexual nature.

Even in the face of contraceptives, women in the vast majority, only perform sex to satisfy a man. I do respect that there are men who exist, and do display a remarkable finesse around the complexity of a vagina. I have tried myself. Want the truth? It's  like our divorce proceeding.  It feels like a marathon. I don't do marathon. I jump on and sprint to my inevitably magical finishall.

Makes you feel kind of sorry for everyone. Every couple in existence except a lucky few, are like, two kids in a candy store and one has juvenile diabetes. All around you at all times, men, who widely regard the vagina as the primary receptacle for satisfying the one-eyed monster that fell in love with her vagina, need to be informed this property of hers doesn't actually do much in response except suffer the indignity of a pounding, or, if you prefer, a beating.  After all, the second most popular way for men to ejaculate is called 'beating off.'

It means, arguably, sex by men with women is abusive by some kind of morbid design. How can you not agree with Mark Twain when he said, "If there is a God, He is an underachiever."

To deepen and further the mystery, as every man knows, vaginas are virtually impossible not to fall in love with. Double bind for women. They receive no end of pursuit and adoration for something which does nothing for them, except result in motherhood. How weighty a design is all of this?

No wonder men and women spend so much of their lives in pursuits leading away from sybaritic and lustful activities. She's just not into it the way the man is into it, WITH HIS DICK.


No wonder some men and some women turn to others of their own gender. The 80 percent failure of penises in vaginas gambit is a real mind blower.

It is a double bind of some Jungian dimension I know nothing about.